
Who can tell me how fierce my wife is? Just how stunning and amazing is she? I was the one who said, "Don't mess with her or she'll take you out like cheap chinese," but who can top that?

Contest begins now, and runs through the Friday before Christmas. We will read them all at my house on 12/24 and post a winner on Christmas day -- maybe the day after. Duplicate entries will be ignored; first one with a one-liner is the owner. Insults will be deleted; multiple insults will get banned. And no sexual inuendos -- keep it clean.
My wife is so hot, she's a cause of global warming. Let's see if you can do better.
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