[$] I sell out for 5 minutes ...

... and I find an ad for horoscopes at the bottom of my Google ads.

Listen: don't click thru for your horoscope. I'll give it to you for free:
Your life is about to change. Something your were expecting is not going to happen, and something you didn't expect will materialize instead. Love is always a possibility, but caution is always advised.
That applies to all signs and all birthdays. Don't waste a click on a horoscope that won't be any more specific or insightful than the one I just gave you.