A field report from NYS

This just in from faithful reader and correspondent PFD from NYS:

There was this lady who was married to the president. She ran for the Senate, campaigned on her “track record” and easily won. It was her first elected political office, ever.

Some dirtbag in Illinois, virtually guaranteed a Senate seat, somehow got himself married to an attractive actress, tried to get her to perform in a sex club, she said No and got a divorce. When all this became public, the dirtbag’s unknown opponent became Senator – and who knows? That guy could become president someday.

Some guy, flawed but not a total dirtbag, in New York had family problems. He was a Congressman. There were domestic disturbances in his house; 911 was called; the police responded. When this was all anybody could talk about, it became the issue – whatever “it” is – it sure sounded like he was beating up his wife. A woman challenged him for his seat. We don’t know what she stood for, but as she’s a woman, so she’s probably against husbands beating up their wives. Let’s vote for her. And if it turns out that the Congressman was the one calling 911 because his wife is violent and dangerous, well, either way he has family problems and shouldn’t be in Washington, right?

There was this other guy in New York – this one was the governor – we’re back to dirtbags. The lieutenant governor became governor. And the guy who could become president someday became president, and he picked that New York senator, the one who was married to the president, to be on his cabinet. So the lieutenant governor–turned–governor appointed the presumably anti–wife beating congresswoman to be replace her in the Senate.

And that is how we find the people to run the country