New Rumors have emerged

Guns don't kill people. [Chuck? or Sarah?] kills people.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] created the Bermuda Triangle.

When [Chuck? or Sarah?] does division, there are no remainders.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] can count to infinity, twice.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] can sneeze with her eyes open.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] invades Freddy Kruger's nightmares.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] is ten feet tall, weighs two tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] doesn't read books. She stares at them until she gets the information that she wants.

There are no bunnies in Alaska because [Chuck? or Sarah?] boiled them

[Chuck? or Sarah?] is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] can slam a revolving door.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself... and [Chuck? or Sarah?]

Crop circles are [Chuck? or Sarah?]'s way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. [Chuck? or Sarah?] 3. Cancer.

The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep out [Chuck? or Sarah?] .

Someone once videotaped [Chuck? or Sarah?] getting angry. It was called Alaska Chainsaw Massacre.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with [Chuck? or Sarah?]'s fist.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] uses pepper spray to spice up her steaks.

The wheelchair parking sign does not signify that the spot is for handicapped people. It warns you that the spot belongs to [Chuck? or Sarah?] and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is [Chuck? or Sarah?].

[Chuck? or Sarah?] doesn't shower; she only takes blood baths.

Contrary to popular belief, [Chuck? or Sarah?], not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. [Chuck? or Sarah?] has 72... all poisonous.

Every April 15th, [Chuck? or Sarah?] sends the IRS a picture of herself, crouched and ready to attack. She has not had to pay taxes, ever.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] invented KFC's eleven herbs and spices, but nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

What was going through the minds of all of [Chuck? or Sarah?]'s victims before they died? Her shoe.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] is the only person to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking [Chuck? or Sarah?] as a Code 45-11: a suicide.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] doesn't churn butter. She roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] doesn’t wash her clothes; she disembowels them.

The opening scene of "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on a game of dodgeball [Chuck? or Sarah?] played in second grade.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] once shot down a German fighter plane with her finger, yelling, "Bang!"

Wikipedia now defines the "Trail of Tears" as anywhere that [Chuck? or Sarah?] walks.

When [Chuck? or Sarah?] donate bloods, she declines the syringe and requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There are no steroids in baseball, just players [Chuck? or Sarah?] has breathed on.

[Chuck? or Sarah?] sheds her skin twice a year.

There is no "ctrl" button on [Chuck? or Sarah?]' computer. [Chuck? or Sarah?] is always in control.

When the Bogeyman goes to sleep at night he always checks the closet for [Chuck? or Sarah?].

HT: Chris Stamper, via the almighty Facebook.